they're cooking frogs in america

get outside of berlin if you want to practice your deutsch

"Deine deutsch ist schleckt," an old man said to me when i tried to explain to him where i was going

goddamn i got a good laugh on that one...the old man looked at me, certain i was crazy.

i stopped to get an ice cream at a little cafe just off the Elbe bike trail, and to fill my water bottle up. it was early in the day but i'd already gotten in 70 klicks or so, and the old woman who owned the place with her husband asked me what i was doing in this part of germany. i told her i wanted to live in germany, that i loved it here. she was struck dumb, especially when she'd learned the different places i'd lived in america. "Wie so?" why germany? america is so beautiful. i asked her if she knew the story of the frog in the warm bath. she'd never heard of it, but that quite possibly was because meine deutsch ist sehr shleckt. "well," i said. "this frog was taking a warm bath. but what the frog didn't know was that the bath was actually a large pot of warm water placed on a stove at low heat. the frog never noticed that the heat was slowly being turned up and the frog eventually ended up cooked and used as a soup. well, that's what they're doing in america, cooking frogs."

we both laughed heartily at that one. i believe she understood me.

the campingplatzen in deutschland are spectacular. one day, after 80 klicks into a pretty good headwind, i pulled into one with an olympic sized pool, waterslides, a live band and bratwurst stands and beer and schnapps vendors. i set up camp, took a dip in the pool, grabbed a beer and a kirschwasser and listened to a trio performing Nirvana and Pearl Jam covers.

tractors used to scare me when i was a kid riding my bike on the rural roads of Valley City. they were big and you could hear them coming up behind you on your bike. i would get nervous as i heard them approach. i learned that it was best not to look behind you. on occasion i'd turn at the last minute as a big old tractor pulling a trailer piled high with straw and nearly topple my bike as it'd speed by me. well, the tractors in sweden and denmark are 5 times as big and look like transformers and fast. i felt that adrenaline.

when in sweden and denmark, with the sun setting on the golden fields, i was transported to the Valley City of my youth.

dusk calms the winds and cools the road, brings relief from headwinds and sunburn, the kind of relief only the shade of a maple tree can bring.

gliding into a town after humping uphill for 20 klicks.

port towns. Rostock, Germany; Trelleborg, Sweden; Hellsingborg, Sweden; Hellingsorg, Denmark; Lubeck, Germany.

when boarding a ferry on a bike, pay attention to the guys directing traffic and alles gut.

i have a kinship with truck drivers.

the northeastern coast of denmark looks a lot like new england.

the interior of southern sweden looks like ohio.

copenhagen is full of itself...you're not that cool copenhagen. and for that matter neither are you berlin. get a grip and recognize how lucky you are instead of trying to be hip.

berlin starts to reveal itself about 100 klicks before you actually get to the city limits.